RL Achievements and ToW

[Alicorn]

Today I went for my "interview" for permanent resident, which wasn't much of a interview. Just a run through of going over info, making sure it was right, paying money, giving them a photo and then being told details about being a permanent resident. So what I'm getting at is...I'm a Canadian permanent resident! **does a dance** They like me, they really like me! XD Heh, I"m so happy to have it done and over with. Funny thing is that the work permit I got is null and void, I don't need it. Never even got to use it, 150 bucks down the drain. Ah well, it was a safe then sorry thing. If we didn't do it then I'd be needing it and wouldn't have it. I can now do schooling with it so maybe now I can take some of the neat art courses I heard about at the local collage. **rings hands together** Anywho all my nervousness was for naught. We were in and out. And the lady we talked to was super nice so it made it all the more easier. We went to Hooters afterward to celebrate! XD (I never been to Hooters so my wife thought it be a good place to celebrate. Such eye candy. o.o) Then when I got home my mom-in-law had a card congratulating me and a special desert for me (mini chocolate volcano cake...not sure if that's what it's really called. It was f-ing good!). So in all it was a great day. Now to spread the word on to family and friends, muha!

[bonecrivain]

Aw, congratulations! That's awesome for you and your wife. =)

[Fjorab_Teke]

Yay, awesome and congratulations! I bet that's a whole load of relief.

[Mistress Morbid]

I'm hoping to become active here again and get back in touch with all the people I've missed. To start, I figured I'd share a pretty major life achievement for me.

Ryan and I have bought our first house! ^_^ We've been together for 6 years, and have lived in an apartment for the past 4. Recently we've just been sick of our crappy landlord and rising rent costs, not to mention the state of the apartment itself. Ryan said we could probably afford a mortgage with what we've been paying for rent, so on a whim we started looking at houses around the area. With some help from the family, we managed to land a beautiful 4 bedroom townhouse just a few blocks away from where we currently are. We get possession at the end of August, and are hopefully moving in the first week of September.

We're so excited to finally have a place we can call our own. I'm already scheming over paint colours, and I can't wait to decorate properly.

[AngharadTy]

Ooh, congratulations! That's a lot of work, and a big deal. We're trying to get our own place too, but for a lot of reasons, it isn't going well. And most of them aren't our fault. =( I'm jealous, though!

[Alicorn]

Thanks guys! It is a load off. The hard stressful part is all over. Now just have to do small now stressful things. And the cool thing is I don't have to go for dual citizenship if I didn't want too. But I think I want to. I think it be cool if I could be called Canadian.

Congrats MM! I bet you'll have tons of fun decorateing your house. I know I can't wait to get one just so I can decorate! XD And welcome back to NC! I missed seeing you around.

[Officer 1BDI]

Congratulations on your citizenship, Alicorn! And congratulations on the new house, MM!

I think my tablet finally died. It was only a few years old, but the damned wires near the USB plug must be twisted or something, because for the past couple of weeks I've had to bend them just right to get the laptop to read the tablet at all. Today, the tablet worked for 30 minutes before it shut down completely; now all I get when I bend the wires correctly is a consistent, blinking blue light. -_-

[KauKrazy]

Break-ups suck. Break-ups that happen after a long relationship suck even more. Break-ups that happen because of emotional and eventually, physical violence suck so much. And reading the self-help books for women also sucks because you realize you didn't even KNOW about all the strategies he used to manipulate you into doing what he wanted you to do. But when you read, you immediately recognize them.

[Mistress Morbid]

Break-ups suck. Break-ups that happen after a long relationship suck even more. Break-ups that happen because of emotional and eventually, physical violence suck so much. And reading the self-help books for women also sucks because you realize you didn't even KNOW about all the strategies he used to manipulate you into doing what he wanted you to do. But when you read, you immediately recognize them.

Oh my god that's really terrible to hear. If it's any sort of consolation, I think you should feel proud that you were able to get out when you did. I know many women who can never muster the strength to break things off in those situations, and it just gets worse for them.

*offers hugs*

[Jazzy]

Agreed with MM - I'm so, so sorry you had to go through that, and very glad you're out safely. It's an incredibly difficult thing to have to do.

[KauKrazy]

Thank you. I had a few things going for me, I guess. We had no children so I had nobody to worry about besides myself, and I make my own money and can support myself without him. We were not married, so I don't have to go through a divorce process. I do feel sorry for the thousands of women who have no resources and have children they need to protect. I am just glad it happened before our life came to that.

Also, my parents were very supportive. They said "You don't have to put up with anything like that, it's not OK. Come away and you can live with us until you find a new place, for as long as you'll need." I haven't told my grandparents or friends yet, I am trying to muster the strength to do that.

We were together for 5 years, and I feel like I can't really even remember what I did or thought before our relationship. Seems like I have to work hard on finding out what I like and want again. Right now I'm just listening to some old CD's that I bought before we got together, to feel better. I am just taking everything really slowly.

[Mistress Morbid]

It will definitely be hard at first, but it sounds like you have a lot of support. After a relationship of that length of time you'll have to break out of the familiarity trap. You get used to things being the same, and feel disoriented when you suddenly find yourself on your own. Take it easy for the first while, don't rush into anything, and just relax and rediscover yourself. Hang out with friends who you know will make you feel better. Focus on the positive things you have in your life, and feel glad to get rid of the negative. I'm sure everything will work out, just have patience and strength.

[Kantark]

It will get easier - and you'll soon realise you totally did the right thing to break the cycle of violence and manipulation. All men are not bastards, but sadly there is a sizeable percentage who seem to think that kind of shit is acceptable. In the long run leaving is *definitely* for the best, and I admire your strength in making that difficult decision.

[Monkeyguy]

Wow, I'm glad you realized how he was treating you and got out. Take advantage of the support you are getting from your parents because after 5 years it is hard to let go.

I just learned tonight that one of my friends is seeing her abusive ex again and I just wish she could stand up for herself like you have.

[KauKrazy]

You get used to things being the same, and feel disoriented when you suddenly find yourself on your own.

That's definitely true. I have a feeling there's a million things I could do, now that I don't have to worry about anyone disapproving of them; and yet, it feels like I don't know where to begin, so for the most part, I've been just sitting at home, reading, listening to music. I guess it just takes some time. But it feels funny because before I met him, I was always a very independent person, I didn't need anyone telling me what to do. I was living on my own, taking care of everything myself. Now it feels so different. I just have to get back in touch with that person.

I just learned tonight that one of my friends is seeing her abusive ex again and I just wish she could stand up for herself like you have.

I understand why, men like that have a way of knowing just which buttons to push to make you do anything they want. It can be saying they're sorry and they will change, it can be intimidation, saying they'll hurt your family, saying they'll tell everyone about your most intimate secrets. I had a dozen calls from my ex after I left, saying how I needed to help him get over his problems, or how I needed to come back because "he was feeling so bad about hitting me," telling me I needed to give him a second chance. Telling me he was missing me so much and didn't I miss him. He was crying, apologizing. Reminding me of all the good memories, because there are good memories too. It was not easy to resist the temptation and go back. But I know how things have gotten worse over the years (from gentle reminders to do things differently because "my way wasn't right," to outright orders, from orders to punishments if he didn't like my ideas, and it came to hitting in the end because I "was not permitted to disagree with him.") I know that I just can't go back. Men like that have only their own best interests in mind, and they just don't want anyone knowing the are abusing their partners. That's why they want you to come back. Not because they care about you. If a person cares, he could never do anything like it to you.